


Bees?

by ok_but_first_tea



Series: Im Feeling Neurodivergent And Gay In This Kepler Tonight [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Autistic Duck Newton, Bees?, Gen, TAZ Amnesty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 21:29:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ok_but_first_tea/pseuds/ok_but_first_tea
Summary: Duck loves bees.





	Bees?

**Author's Note:**

> This is very self indulgent, and written in protest of my angsty, angsty brain.  
> Duck is autistic and that's canon babes, thank you for coming to my tedtalk
> 
> (i love you, you're great and if you haven't heard it yet today: I'm proud of you)

Duck sighed.

He didn’t want to deal with this.    
“No, ma’am, I can’t remove the beehive.” He said with the most apologetic voice he could muster. It somehow came out completely monotone.

“They are a nuisance and, more importantly, a health hazard! What if Tommy had been allergic? You can’t just have loose  _ bees _ running around.” The woman on the phone said. 

Duck pinched the bridge of his nose and resisted the urge to sigh. The woman didn’t notice though.

“Are you saying those bees are more important than  _ my son _ ?” She continued. 

“With all due respect, ma’am, it is their home more than yours.” He said. 

She spluttered for a good few moment. When she responded her voice was laced with indignance. 

“They are just bees.” She spat the words like one might talk about a particularly bad politician.

Duck frowned. He thought about the little happy things bumping through the air like genius little toddlers. Duck loved bees. 

Of course this woman was just being a dick, Duck knew that. But two could play that game.

“Well ma’am, I wouldn’t be so quick to say they are  _ just bees _ .” he said. A small grin spread over his face. 

“After all without the bees we would all die. All the plants we rely on would cease to exist-” 

“Well yes and I’m sure they’re useful but-” The woman said but Duck interupted. 

“Oh man, they are! Those pollinators are so neat, not much for honey though. Did you know,” He steamrolled over her objections in his now slightly more enthusiast monotone voice, “That the little Southern Blueberry Bee visits as many as fifty thousand flowers in its lifetime. Now isn’t that, uh,  _ cool _ , as the kids say.” 

The line was silent, but he heard her breathing. She made a sound as to say something at his pausing so he quickly picked up where he left off. 

“And the carpenter bee is a fantastic little guy. They don’t- uh hive up, if you catch uhh, catch my meaning.” He chuckled at his own joke, “They have these nests that they dig into the wood all by themselves, clever little things they are.”  

He could feel himself getting up steam. He grabbed one of the pebbles he collected on his desk while not pausing his little lecture on bees. The surface was smooth as Duck let his thumb sweep over it, turning it around to examine closer as he’s done with so many pebbles over the years.    
“And to think that those are only a few ones, North America alone has about four thousand indigenous species.”Duck lowered his voice in a more serious tone.  “That’s pretty neat for  _ just bees. _ So  _ just _ a bit of advice; if I were you, ma’am,” He said, “I would be damn careful about insulting my bees next time you complain.” 

It was silent for a few long seconds, when the woman finally responded.

She huffed and said “Well don’t expect me or Tommy ever back at your dirty park.” 

Then she hung up. 

Duck wasn’t bothered. He was smiling, actually. 

He’d been so caught up in the phone call he hadn’t even noticed Aubrey coming in until she spoke up.

“Knock knock,” She said.

Duck, startled, quickly put the pebble back in the bowl he had for them. 

“Aubrey.” He said. 

She sauntered in and hung against the side of his desk. 

“Duck!” She said, with about ten times more excitement. “I didn’t know you liked bees!” 

Duck smiled at her if not a bit embarrassed. “Well, they are a part of my domain.” He said, leaving out the part where bees had been a special interest of his ever since middle school. 

He cleared his throat. “So what did-uuh, what did you need?” 

“Oh! Yeah, Barclay wanted to meet us at the lodge in a bit. You got time?” 

Duck looked at his watch. “Yeah, I have some time. Will it be long?”

Aubrey shot him a look. “Come on Duck, it’s Barclay.” 

Duck didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. He nodded.

“Well then let’s go, Mister Slow Ass!” Aubrey said and grabbed his arm to tug him toward the exit. He smiled at her antics. 

Duck checked his pockets for keys, phone, pocket knife, the rest of his things. 

“Also!” She said and pointed a finger at his chest, “You better tell me about those bees. I’ve been wanting to set up a little bee hotel at the lodge and I want to be a good host when they come.” 

He almost dropped his flashlight in surprise. 

“Uhm I-.. alright!” He said and she smiled. 

“Alright well the first thing you gotta know is they need water. Especially in this weather, but if you just put it in a bowl they’ll drown, you see? Gotta be gentle.”

Aubrey took his arm while they walked to Amnesty Lodge together. They pointed out every bumbling bee they saw flying about. 

Duck sighed.

He loved bees. 

 


End file.
